HomeBirth Story: Baby B #2

11pm on January 26th, 2019 laying in bed my water broke. I hadn’t yet fallen asleep, I was doing some spiritual reading after my friend dropped off some new crystal gifts to my house. I mention this detail, because energy is everything and so is mental state in birth. I believe the crystals might have brought in new energy and vibrations that maybe helped him decide to come (Thanks again Love Tatum).
I called my husband who was in the guest bedroom, then midwife and then my mother. It was midnight. The plan was to sleep until contractions were 4-5 minutes apart. I couldn’t sleep. I started needing to walk, sit on my toilet (favorite birth spot) or hold myself up in the open window during contractions. My Husband kept asking me how far apart they were and I didn’t know because I was so caught up in them (that’s a sign you are in active labor), he started timing and they were 4 minutes apart- no sleeping for anyone! It was go time.
Thank goodness my midwife lives on my street and was over before I think the hubs hung up the phone. Just like that, I was in active labor.
I found myself staying fully present and able to communicate the whole time. Unlike my first home birth that was an out of body experience.  I was fully engaged and aware of everything I was doing. Working hard with my coaches (midwife and husband) and baby boy to labor. This time it was clear to me that I needed the support of others to get through it. Unlike with my daughter. With her I went internal and did the work with her. With baby b #2,  I needed help to hold myself up during contractions.  I wanted my husbands strength and energy for each rush. I found that the best thing during contractions, was holding myself up on the window of my bathroom  while the cool night air blew in my face. I’m sure the neighbors didn’t appreciate me howling at the moon, but those breezes of air were heavenly on my tired, over heated laboring body. Then the rushes and waves got stronger and I became weaker as I had no sleep. I now need my husband consistently to hold me during contractions. This was equally powerful as his strength, touch and support really became crucial to the success of each closer contraction and us getting to meet our son.
We did have the birthing pool set up and I couldn’t wait to get in it.  At this point I wanted to receive any relief even if temporary. With my first we didn’t have time to set it up so I’ve never been in a pool of water while laboring- I knew I wanted to try it. At first the warm water was beyond comforting and welcoming to my achy and tired body. It was wonderful  to get off my very shaky weak legs and rest them for a moment. I didn’t like being in water for long, as I felt ungrounded too buoyant in the water. I really like to have my feet firmly planted on the grounded, rooted with the earth during birth and this proved it. With my daughter this was also true.  So once again, I was out of the birthing pool and using my husband to help me stand, squat and rest between contractions.
It seemed within moments from that point I felt the pressure. The pressure when you start to feel like you need to push. With that it became time to check me and get me over to the bed.
Once on the bed (which I hate laboring laying down) I was checked and was about 6/7 centimeters. Knowing this I quickly rolled off back on to the ground next to my bed. Still grounded, but now on all fours.
Knelling by my bed I told myself, (yes you need to also coach yourself in labor) ” let’s move this along”.  I knew I could open up more and quickly by relaxing and telling myself (silently) to do so. I worked really hard the next rushes to open fully. Moments passed it worked and then it was time to get back on the bed and begin the hardest part, the moment of truth the real pushing to bring forth the baby boy.
True to my little boys style in everything this far, he was going to make me wait yet some more and go at his pace. With my first child,  I pushed three times in under 5 minutes and she was out. He took a total of fifteen minutes and it was the longest &  hardest fifteen minutes of enduring the ring of never ending fire.  Finally, his head emerged, but his two shoulders were harder to get out, then his  head. BUT then in full grace, complete submission, and total relaxation and pure euphoria he emerged!  In an instant, like that all the labor exhaustion, pain and discomfort completely gone – he was on my chest! I DID IT. Every mother knows that moment and felling- I DID IT!
His eyes open, crying and fully aware of what was going on. Baby Bradford was here!
The best part of a slow pushing session is that I followed the lead/instructions of my midwifes and because of this I tore much less then when I just went for it and bared down with my first. Due to slowing it down and listening to the midwives who guided my active pushing this not only helped with that, but my healing downtime/ discomfort was way less than my first. Actually dramatically different. I would encourage any mom to be aware enough and present enough to slow down on the pushing. It is so hard to say because in that moment it’s easier to just bare down and go for it forcefully, but try not to. Take it from me, that little moment of pain and discomfort outweighs the later healing time and prolonged discomfort/ soreness.
With him now on my chest, we could all just breath, smile and all be washed over with the love and amazement that filled the whole room! It seems like forever when you are in labor, but his labor from start of my water breaking to him being on my chest was 3 hours and fifteen minutes. He actually beat my first labor with my daughter by an hour and 15 minutes.
We stayed like this for awhile until his umbilical cord stopped pulsating and my husband had the honors of cutting the cord.
I was exhausted so I needed gravity help me deliver the last element to conclude his birth, the placenta.
Then it was time for my stitches and his first check up before the midwifes would depart and let us all just soak in the presence of him. We tried to sleep even though the natural high is nearly impossible to come down from for days/ weeks.
We decided that during his check over we would wake up and bring in our toddler, his big sister and OG baby b to come in. She was delighted and woke up like it was Christmas morning (2:30 am). Talk about my heart exploding and feeling even more in love by watching her light up to see him. She couldn’t wait to hold him and just be in the room with all of us. It was magical and one of the most precious memories to date.
Then came the time to wrap everyone up in warmth to cuddle into our bed to sleep. It was now 4am and time to finally call it a night- just now with one more person in bed with us :).
A huge thank you again to the lovely, compassionate and wise midwifes at San Diego Midwife. I can’t recommend them enough!! They were my team for both my baby B’s.  I also strongly/ highly recommend homebirth/ natural birth. Not just for the baby, but it’s a must and one of the last true wild, spiritual, sacred and special magical acts a woman can and should have in her life- don’t miss that opportunity to expand and experience what we are made to do.
Want to read my first planned homebirth experience with my first child? Read it here.

 

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